she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Your shirt... Was in my pants
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
