On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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