It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
