he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
