Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
