a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
