Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
