Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
