Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
