shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
