question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
