I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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