walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
