how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
