Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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