I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
