Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Randomize
