just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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