do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
