Three words: puerto rican gang bang
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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