so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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