john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
