This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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