I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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