He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
