Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
