Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
