lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
