Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
