oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
