O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Randomize
