I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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