Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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