At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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