May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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