We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize
