Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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