okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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