I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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