We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
