OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize