Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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