that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
