My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
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