I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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