I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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