I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
