Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
