my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
