i don't plan on having that self control this summer
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
