That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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