I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize