I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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