Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you told grandpa to call you daddy
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
