But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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