my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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