The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
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