there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
