i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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