Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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