Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
