Why are handjobs necessary in class?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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